Comparison Is the Thief of Joy (Ways to Protect It)

Inside: Learn why comparison is the thief of joy and get tips for how to stop comparing yourself to others and hold on to your personal joy.

Who Said “Comparison is the Thief of Joy”?

The original quote “comparison is the thief of joy” is said to be credited to Theodore Roosevelt.  This quote has also been attributed to Mark Twain and Ray Cummings (an American author from the early to mid-1900s). 

While the original spokesman may not matter as much, the quote “comparison is the thief of joy” is a valuable reminder of how comparing ourselves to others can steal our own content and feelings of success.

What Does Comparison is the Thief of Joy Truly Mean?

The idea behind this statement is that when we constantly compare ourselves to everyone else’s life we, in turn, feel lowered self-esteem and may feel inadequate.  This is so easy to do in today’s modern world with 24/7 access to everyone’s accomplishments and “highlight reel” by way of social media.

We naturally have a desire to compare and stack ourselves up against others.  I am guilty of this even though I know the negative feelings it can cause (which is a major reason why I limit my time on social media).

As a mom of three kiddos I (often) compare myself to other mothers.  I wish I did not do this.  I realized later than sooner that this comparison truly robbed me of my joy as a mom.  We all do things differently – often with the same intent or even outcome – but the methods can vary widely.  

Once I accepted this age-old phrase, comparison is the thief of joy, and started to apply it to my thinking – my mental health and overall attitude improved.

Perhaps you, too, compare yourself to others but in different ways.  Maybe not as a parent but you compare how clean or organized your home is to friends and neighbors, your achievements, your family choices, your challenges, your social life….these comparisons can negatively impact our mental and emotional health.

Reasons Why Comparison is the Thief of Joy

So, if we know we shouldn’t do it, then why do we compare?

When we see things others have that we are impressed by or attracted to, by comparison it may diminish the worth of our own belongings or circumstances. Modern-day society has brought on many ways to allow regular comparison with others. Below are reasons why comparison is so easy to do these days.

Social Media

The creation of social media makes it incredibly easy to look at other people’s lives, especially since the platforms are often used for “showing off” or “the humble brag.”  These images, videos and postings may actually make us feel jealous and therefore the comparison robs of us our joy and contentment inside our own lives. Even thought we certainly can (and should) feel happy for someone else’s good fortune, when you start to compare to yourself you may feel resentment or bothered.

Competitiveness

A strong sense of competition or “measuring up” can steal our joy as it causes us to compare ourselves to others intensely.  Life is not a race!  While healthy competition is appropriate in certain situations, day-to-day life is not one of them.

Societal Expectations

Our modern society and the media encourages us to “do it all.”  This messaging, especially to women, can cause us to compare and lose our joy over our life choices related to career, motherhood, marital status, etc. We all have our own journeys.  Everyone’s life circumstances vary; yet, society seems to be constantly comparing different groups and choices, resulting in resentment and lack of joy. 

A Need for Fairness

We have been taught in modern society that everything, always must be fair.  While fairness is important it may not always be possible to achieve (how often do we tell our kids “life isn’t fair?”). This constant need for fairness provokes a comparison and steals our joy.

5 Ways to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others and Find Contentment

Once you recognize the triggers for your comparison to others, you can apply methods to avoid the comparison traps and protect your joy and sense of satisfaction.  Below are ways to avoid comparison and safeguard your happiness.

1. Spend less time on social media

It is very easy to compare ourselves to others when the differences are posted right in front of us.  Limit your time on social media, especially if it leads you to feelings of resentment or jealousy.  Replace this comparison trap with a more positive, uplifting activity such as gratitude journaling, enjoying a hobby or taking in a simple pleasure.

2. Accept yourself for who you truly are

Believe in yourself and live your life for your true identity, not those of others.  Recognize your spiritual gifts and how these are uniquely yours, which helps you avoid comparing yourself to someone else.

3. Practice daily gratitude to acknowledge your own personal blessings

When we stop and think about the positive things in our life, it puts everything else into perspective.  I practice gratitude daily to remind myself of ways life is going my way!  This attitude of gratitude positively impacts your mental health and is a good reminder of the joy and blessings you do have in your life.

4. Do something that brings you joy

When the feelings of inadequacy or bitterness creep up due to comparisons to others, replace those emotions with something you enjoy doing or an act of self care. Take a walk, work in your garden, do a short meditation, cook your favorite meal, laugh with a friend. Switch gears with a focus on what you do well or enjoy which is just for you — no comparing involved!

5. Do something in service for someone else

Nothing is more humbling than helping those less fortunate than you.  This act of kindness resets your thinking of how no one is living a perfect life and comparison doesn’t help anyone — let alone you.

Don’t Let Comparison Be the Thief of Your Joy

You don’t have to let comparison take away your happiness. Avoid measuring your life against others. Once you realize how detrimental comparison can be to your joy, take the steps above to combat it.

Identify what is robbing you of contentment and take some time to introspect. Focus on finding satisfaction in your own life and be proud of your personal achievements and journey in life. Your journey and choices will look different from others — and that’s okay!